How to Deal with Flattery

3 Insights

“Learned we may be with another man’s learning: we can only be wise with wisdom of our own.” ― Michel de Montaigne

“If you’re busy at work, odds are you will eventually be replaced by a robot.” ― Nassim Taleb

“We don’t really learn anything properly until there’s a problem, until we’re in pain, until something fails to go as we had hoped … We suffer, therefore we think.” ― Alain de Botton

What I Learned this Week

The legend of Dracula has roots in a real historical figure: Vlad the Impaler, also known as Vlad Drăculea. In the 15th century, Vlad faced off against Mehmed II, the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire.

At the age of 11, Vlad was taken hostage by the Ottomans and raised in Constantinople alongside Mehmed II, almost like a brother. However, as adults, they became enemies, with Vlad defending Wallachia (part of modern-day Romania) against Mehmed’s conquests.

Lessons from Vlad the Impaler

Vlad the Impaler defended Wallachia against Sultan Mehmed II, the Ottoman conqueror of Constantinople. Mehmed arrived with 90,000 soldiers, 120 cannons, and the era’s most advanced weaponry. He thought it’s going to be an easy win; he had all the reasons to believe that.

Vlad’s resources were a small, exhausted army and—crucially—the power of fear.

He understood that fear could achieve what swords could not. He scorched the earth as the Ottomans advanced—burning crops, poisoning wells, and destroying food supplies. Night raids targeted sleeping soldiers, spreading panic. His troops disappeared into the night like ghosts, leaving fires and chaos behind. As Mehmed’s forces approached his capital, they encountered 20,000 prisoners impaled on stakes, alive and writhing, arranged in a horrific crescent visible from all sides.

Mehmed, a battle-hardened conqueror, turned back. The sight shattered morale, proving that even the strongest armies are vulnerable to psychological defeat. This victory came at a staggering cost. Wallachia was left in ashes: its wells poisoned, villages abandoned, and resources depleted. Thousands died on both sides. But Vlad’s strategy worked.

His story is a reminder of how powerful fear can be.

In modern life, psychological tactics often play out in subtler ways. Leaders use fear to control narratives. Competitors exploit uncertainty to gain an edge. Social media magnifies insecurities to keep people engaged.

Vlad Drăculea wasn’t a hero, but he was a powerful strategist. He showed the world that the battle for survival often begins in the mind. Whether in war, work, or personal struggles, fear can either paralyze you or become your most potent weapon—if you learn to wield it.

How to Deal with Flattery

“There’s no other way of guarding yourself against flattery than to make people understand they will not offend you by speaking the truth,” Machiavelli wrote. On the other hand, when everyone feels at liberty to tell you the truth, they will soon start disrespecting you. 

“A wise leader strikes a middle ground, choosing only a few wise people who enjoy the power to tell him the truth—and only they should be allowed to speak to him about the matters they’re responsible for. The leader should ask them about everything, listen to their opinions, and reflect upon them. And afterwards come up with his own resolutions. He must master the art of asking fruitful questions & be a patient listener.” — Machiavelli

…But also to show his anger when needed if someone doesn’t tell him the truth. Whoever acts otherwise will either be surrounded by flatterers or confused by the variety of opinions. True leadership lies in mastering this art of selective truth and measured decision-making.

Reflections

There are two ways to improve your lifestyle: by adding new, healthy habits or by getting rid of old, toxic habits.

Do you need to add something or do you need to get rid of something?

The Real Con 110

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